I have been soaking in a book by D.A. Carson called “Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus”; soaking in it, reading it slowly, rereading certain passages. The book has had a profound affect on me in that I am amazed and surprised anew at the great cost of the cross. But it’s more than the cost that has impacted me, it’s the beautiful necessity of the cross(Rom. 3:21-26 especially). Carson does an incredible job of helping the reader see that everything we are thankful for, everything that we enjoy, every person that we have the pleasure to love, every thing and all of it, is directly tied back to the cross. I don’t think I can really capture the impact that it’s had on me except to tell you to go and get the book. It’s a thin book, but oh so powerful to those who are ‘searching’ its pages.
At the same time I’m reading some of James Durham’s sermons from Isaiah 53 and I have just been crushed by my sinful rebellion and offered hope in my Great Savior. The cross is hitting me in many areas and is driving me to love God and love my neighbors in a new way. I hate that I get so focused on me, me, me that I can’t see what God is doing in me and around me.
Tonight I was just moved to tears in prayer over my children in confession of my sins in their lives. I share my confession with you in hope that it may encourage you to recenter on the cross in any and every area that Jesus’ blood needs to run.
I confess that I get angry when my children distract me from me.
I confess that I get angry with pop-tarts left on counters.
I confess that I get angry with their high pitched screams when they are playing.
I confess that I do not love them with the Word during correction or encouragement.
I confess that I do not slow down to teach them how to navigate through life the way Jesus modeled.
I confess that I do not encourage their strengths and work with them through their weaknesses.
I confess that I do not lead them in celebrating Jesus everyday.
I confess that I do not show them that Jesus matters more to me than anything or anyone.
I confess that I am a wicked sinner, saved by grace, and needing the cross every moment of my life.