Burning Vapor » Family

Transitions

paddy1mac — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 02:44:08 +0000

Transition. It seems to be the theme that threads it’s way throughout my life. For those of you who know me, you know it to be true. I am going through yet another transition – that from vocational ministry to full time ‘secular’ work. There have been periods where I was serving vocationally in a parachurch type role, but it was still ministry. My role as a General Manager for a roofing company has nothing to do with vocational ministry. Transition.

I thought that depression would quickly grip me because my identity is wrapped up in Jesus as a pastor. I must confess that I did feel those early pullings and I had to fight for truth and place my affections firmly on Jesus. Surprisingly, my full time work has had a laser like impact on me. It has forced me to focus on those things that matter most.

Jesus. I am talking to you more and thinking about you more. I am missing those times in the Word with you when so often I took them for granted. Your words weigh heavier to me for some reason, and there is much more of an expectancy when I come to you. I see even more so that my life is a vapor that is quickly passing through my fingers. I know that you have me in this time temporarily for me to learn. At first, I was eager to learn it and shrug this bad dream off, but I realize I would have learned nothing at all. Thank you for this time and clarifying who I am in You even more.

Family. I have missed you. Where have I been? Running from one thing to another with little thought of how to fit you into the small areas that I might have left over. I have been working harder on parenting, on listening, and on laughing. I have realized the great joy that you are in my life and I long to come home from work and spend time with you.

Church. I am moving from a role that I could do, but it wasn’t my passion. Serving Jesus is my passion, so I gladly did whatever I needed to do and will continue to do so. A new season is coming. A new role at New City will fit much closer to my passions and giftings. I am excited and thankful.

I only have a few hours in the evening to do anything outside of work and I love those hours. Dinner with the family, conversations with friends, time to read and reflect on Jesus and His work in my life and in those around me. I think I can say that most of my past transitions have been good ones. This one is no different. Thank you Jesus for your love for me, thank you for crystalizing your call on my life, thank you for this job, and thank you for my Bride. I am genuinely excited about what is ahead.

Midnight Madness

paddy1mac — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 15:59:02 +0000

I was just sitting at my computer catching up on Facebook and Tweets when I saw that there is going to be a 5k Run in 4 weeks here in Macon, Midnight Madness.

Patrick: I wonder if I can do that?
Jennifer: I don’t see why not?
Patrick: But it’s in 4 weeks…a 5k in four weeks?
Jennifer: You can do that.
Emma: Dad, I’m a little concerned right now.
Patrick: Why?
Emma: Because I’ve never heard you say “I can’t do anything”.
Patrick: Well, some things I can’t do.
Emma: Stop saying that, it seriously is freaking me out.

This conversation was funny because we just had my Elder Assessment where we discussed one of my weaknesses being that I take on anything. I don’t say no to much and feel like I can do anything. Even my daughter notices my weakness…Sigh.

Emma’s Choir

paddy1mac — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:52:00 +0000

Emma is a natural when it comes to singing and performing. She loves to be on stage and does a fantastic job. We were able to enjoy her in singing in her school choir. As always Emma performed brilliantly and is learning to control herself.

The XP of Toilets

paddy1mac — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:05:07 +0000

On the way to meet with the church this morning Makayla overheard me talking to our setup people. After I hung up she said:

Kayla: Daddy, what do you do for the church? You sound pretty important…
Dad: I do a little of this and a little of that. I try to do whatever needs to be done.
Kayla: Well, what’s your title?
Dad: Titles don’t mean much sweety. I’m the Executive Director.
Kayla: That really sounds important.
Dad: (chuckling) Its not as glamorous as you think.

After service today Ill be able to show her one of the many things I enjoy doing.

In Case This is Goodbye

paddy1mac — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:27:52 +0000

I know, I know. I haven’t blogged consistently in a very long time. To tell you I have been crazy busy with life would be a laughable understatement. But…I wanted to share this.

Tonight I missed dinner to troubleshoot a Mac/Windows issue (and I’m about to start throwing things), so I was rummaging around the fridge for something to eat. I found a bag of ham. It looked home cooked (probably from my in-laws) so I started to dig right in. With my first I bite I thought, “Hmm, it tastes a little different. She must have tried something new with it”. I was gulping my first bite down as Caleb walked by.

Caleb: Uh, Dad, I don’t think you should be eating that.
Dad: Why? (As I’m shoving another handful into my mouth)
Caleb: Because it’s for Grizwell (our dog)
Dad: Why is it for Grizwell? (At this point I’m swallowing my second mouthful and hoping I was not about to hear what I was about to hear)
Caleb: Meme said that she thought it was old and we should give it to the dog…

So, if I die tonight because we are apparently refrigerating old meat for the dog, it has been a great ride!

Merciful Contentment

paddy1mac — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 01:38:32 +0000

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. ~ 2 Cor. 9:8

Jennifer and I are working through some pretty difficult issues with a couple of our sons. We are at a crossroads of sorts and are faced with some weighty decisions. As we have struggled through parenting for the past two years and even more so in the past two weeks, I was encouraged by a passage from Jeremiah Burroughs. I was reminded that while it could be easy to focus on the trial and affliction, we are much better served and Jesus is much more honored in our thankful consideration of Him.

Let not men and women pore too much upon their affliction: that is, busy their thoughts too much to look down into their afflictions. You find many people, all of whose thoughts are taken up about what their crosses and afflictions are, they are altogether thinking and speaking of them. It is just with them as with a child who has a sore: his finger is always on the sore; so men’s and women’s thoughts are always on their afflictions. Oh, no marvel that you live a discontented life, if your thoughts are always poring over such things. You should rather labour to have your thoughts on those things that may comfort you. There are many who, if you propound any rule to them to do them good, will take it well while they are with you, and thank you for it, but when they are gone they soon forget it…

A man or woman who has a weak spirit must not be looking into the fire of their afflictions, upon those things that deject, that cast them down, but they ought to be looking rather on that which may be suitable for healing and helping them; they should consider those things rather than the other. It will be of very great use and benefit to you, if you lay it to heart, not to be poring always on afflictions, but on mercies.

- Jeremiah Burroughs “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment”.

A McConnell Family Favorite

paddy1mac — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:19:33 +0000

The Experiment

paddy1mac — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:42:31 +0000

First I want to say Thank You all for praying for Noah and our family. We have had an incredible 2+ year ride with our son and it appears to continue. As most of you know we had an appointment last night with a psychiatric doctor. By and large it was a very good first meeting. This new doctor seems to really know how to draw Noah out. She got him to agree to a 2 month Experiment of medication and counseling. She is looking at a diagnosis of Bipolar and Reactive Detachment Disorder. This was the diagnosis that we were expecting. At the end of that 2 months we will reevaluate.

If he is still unable to control himself and still insistent on moving out of our family then we will begin looking at some type of group home for him. While he is insistent on us disrupting him I struggle with that on various levels, but at the same time I’m not opposed to it. Every day continues to be a battle. The silent treatment, the angry looks, the refusal to help out around the house and the list goes on. To say that we are exhausted would be an understatement. Please continue to pray.

Found

paddy1mac — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:20:51 +0000

The Open Road

paddy1mac — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:14:27 +0000

I was told last night to not purchase any gifts for Christmas if they were given in love. I was told that love is not needed and if gifts are a reflection of love that I could keep them. I was also told that all of ‘my’ family could also save their gifts if they are given in love. There will no longer be any hugs or kisses because this family sucks. Matter of fact, all families suck and life would be much better if it could be lived in solidarity. Matter of fact, being homeless would be the best case scenario. This conversation was held on the front porch. I calmly listened to the rant and waited for a pause in breath to come. It did. I smiled and opened my hand to the road that led away from our home to the city.

Dad: There ya go.
Son: What?
Dad: Freedom. Solidarity. Independence. No authority. Can you smell it? It’s out there for the taking. You just have to go out there and take it.
Son: What do you mean?
Dad: The road son. It’s right there waiting for you. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other and start your new life of independence on the road. Man, what an adventure it’s going to be!
Son: What are you talking about? I can’t live on the road??
Dad: Sure you can. I’m not going to chase you down. You run much faster than I do. The entire homeless population of Macon is ready to embrace you in their arms. Think of it. Sleeping in the woods, alleys or abandoned buildings, no more nasty school, no more calls to dinner time, no more cleaning up your comfortable room or straightening up your clean bathroom, no more having to put your bike away or having to haul that baseball glove around. Just you, whatever you can find in the garbage cans, and the freedom of the open road.
Son: Are you crazy? I can’t choose to leave this family!
Dad: Oh! Why is that?
Son: Because I’m just a boy. And it’s cold and wet outside. I don’t really have a choice.
Dad: Oh son, we all have choices. You can choose to go back inside and stop acting like a baby or you can fulfill your dream of being homeless. Your choice…
Son: I’m going to do my homework.
Dad: Well…if that’s your choice. Love ya bud.

We then had another 1 hour conversation in his bedroom about all the ways this family sucks. It came out that he is just waiting for us to give him up because families do it all the time. I told him that he needed to be angry at God because it was God who put him into a family that never quits. By the end, he was laughing in the living room and watching Christmas cartoons with the family. It’s day by day, choosing to love someone who desperately wants to believe in love, but believes it is all a lie.