I have been soaking in a book by D.A. Carson called “Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus”; soaking in it, reading it slowly, rereading certain passages. The book has had a profound affect on me in that I am amazed and surprised anew at the great cost of the cross. But it’s more than the cost that has impacted me, it’s the beautiful necessity of the cross(Rom. 3:21-26 especially). Carson does an incredible job of helping the reader see that everything we are thankful for, everything that we enjoy, every person that we have the pleasure to love, every thing and all of it, is directly tied back to the cross. I don’t think I can really capture the impact that it’s had on me except to tell you to go and get the book. It’s a thin book, but oh so powerful to those who are ‘searching’ its pages.

At the same time I’m reading some of James Durham’s sermons from Isaiah 53 and I have just been crushed by my sinful rebellion and offered hope in my Great Savior. The cross is hitting me in many areas and is driving me to love God and love my neighbors in a new way. I hate that I get so focused on me, me, me that I can’t see what God is doing in me and around me.

Tonight I was just moved to tears in prayer over my children in confession of my sins in their lives. I share my confession with you in hope that it may encourage you to recenter on the cross in any and every area that Jesus’ blood needs to run.

I confess that I get angry when my children distract me from me.
I confess that I get angry with pop-tarts left on counters.
I confess that I get angry with their high pitched screams when they are playing.
I confess that I do not love them with the Word during correction or encouragement.
I confess that I do not slow down to teach them how to navigate through life the way Jesus modeled.
I confess that I do not encourage their strengths and work with them through their weaknesses.
I confess that I do not lead them in celebrating Jesus everyday.
I confess that I do not show them that Jesus matters more to me than anything or anyone.

I confess that I am a wicked sinner, saved by grace, and needing the cross every moment of my life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

We have launched a new class for our church called the New City Class.  It’s an introduction to who we are and what we believe.  Much of the material comes from a sermon series we previously did as well as other documents and sermons in the past.  The first time I sat through the class I was thinking ‘Man, I just heard this and now I have to hear it again’.  Just being honest.

We are offering the same class twice a week for those who have scheduling conflicts.  Tonight was our second class in the first lesson.  Afterwards, I was standing around chatting with people when I overheard a portion of an incredible conversation.  A guy was talking to our Pastor, Keith, and this is a close paraphrase of his words.

I came to New City over a year ago and had been off and on at the service.  During the spring of last year you guys preached on Expiation, Propitiation, Justification culminating into Resurrection.  That series opened my eyes to so many truths that I had never understood. I had no idea about the two lambs in the sacrifice and what they meant to me.

I had heard of the ‘Lamb of God’, but man when it was preached I really understood it.  Jesus was our lamb that was the expiation, propitiation and justification.  It’s incredible!!  I was so excited when I heard it that I even sent the mp3′s to a friend out of state.  He listened to it and said that he was blown away by the truth of the Word.

Tonight when you were talking about this stuff again I was so excited. Although I have heard this several times since being here,  you can never hear what Jesus did for us enough!

We have been working through the book of Ecclesiastes at New City.  It has been a great book to study through and I have been  challenged on many levels.  This past week Keith preached through Ecclesiastes 9 and really focused the message on living, dying, and not wasting it all.  This is a theme that I think on more often than not.  There is not a week that goes by that I do not consider my time and the spending of it.  I am constantly asking, ‘are you wasting it?’  I fall off the side that many probably don’t.  I have to fight to not dwell on wasting my life.  I have to fight to not picture myself as an old man looking back on my life and being overwhelmed with the sense that I wasted it.  It can quickly grab my heart, drive me to depression and leave me hopeless.  The thought of wasting my life can often drive me to work harder and longer than I should, to try to please people in ways that I shouldn’t.  I confess that there are times that I feel like I need to pay God back for all that He has done for me and continues to do.  I know that I don’t deserve grace and at times I hate that I receive it.  How can someone so good love someone so evil?

But God…

I turn 37 this year and I feel like I have only truly begun to understand, apply, live out the Gospel…to live out grace.  I credit this awakening to the preaching and ministry at New City.  I have sat under many good men and they have been exactly who I have needed at the time.  It seems that God has me now at a place where I need to go back to the center of it all…the Gospel.  I have paired the sermon series with  Driscoll’s book ‘Death by Love’ and I must admit that there has been new freedom found, a new thirst for God’s mission, and a movement away from guilt to forgiveness.  Tears usually burn.

If you live in Macon, come join us as we gather at the Cox Capitol Theater and hear the Gospel…maybe applied in ways that you have never dreamed of.  If you do not live here, then follow us live on Sunday mornings or watch the recordings later on.  If you are not hearing the Gospel every week then you are missing it.  If you are not living out the Mission, then make the changes necessary to live it out.  Don’t waste it.  Jesus has called you to trust Him and there is a fine line between foolishness and faith – are you walking it?

This past Sunday I was reminded that I am dying.  I have one life.  I should feel the freedom to enjoy the good gifts that God has so graciously given as I join God on His mission.  I should be about His Kingdom and not my own.  I should not fear.  I should be a faithful fool that spends his life well.

Thank you Jesus.

Ok, my self-induced hiatus is over.  I’m coming back to blogging again.  I have a lot of posts that I need to transfer from written page, bookmarks, and Evernote notes.  Those will be added over the next day or so.  I am going to record them on the dates that I wrote, bookmarked, or noted them and I’ll throw them up on Facebook.

What prompted this?

I was reminded, I am dying = Ecclesiates 9.

Al Mohler shares an incredible story that has emerged from the Haitian tragedy.  While there are many, many tragic stories happening around the world that you and I often do not hear about, this one touches deeply.  It points us back to our own adoptions into the family of God.  Enjoy.  Read it here.

Missional Communities in the Suburbs & Cities

A friend of mine referred me to Jonathon Dodson’s message on Missional Communities.  I listened to it today and he had some great philosophical and practical insights into building thriving Gospel centered communities.  Not a small group, not a sunday school class…a whole different way of enjoying people with Jesus.  Check it out!

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. ~ 2 Cor. 9:8

Jennifer and I are working through some pretty difficult issues with a couple of our sons.  We are at a crossroads of sorts and are faced with some weighty decisions.  As we have struggled through parenting for the past two years and even more so in the past two weeks, I was encouraged by a passage from Jeremiah Burroughs.  I was reminded that while it could be easy to focus on the trial and affliction, we are much better served and Jesus is much more honored in our thankful consideration of Him.

Let not men and women pore too much upon their affliction: that is, busy their thoughts too much to look down into their afflictions.  You find many people, all of whose thoughts are taken up about what their crosses and afflictions are, they are altogether thinking and speaking of them.  It is just with them as with a child who has a sore: his finger is always on the sore; so men’s and women’s thoughts are always on their afflictions.  Oh, no marvel that you live a discontented life, if your thoughts are always poring over such things.  You should rather labour to have your thoughts on those things that may comfort you.  There are many who, if you propound any rule to them to do them good, will take it well while they are with you, and thank you for it, but when they are gone they soon forget it…

A man or woman who has a weak spirit must not be looking into the fire of their afflictions, upon those things that deject, that cast them down, but they ought to be looking rather on that which may be suitable for healing and helping them; they should consider those things rather than the other.  It will be of very great use and benefit to you, if you lay it to heart, not to be poring always on afflictions, but on mercies.

- Jeremiah Burroughs “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment”.

I love and greatly value wisdom from older Saints.  I love to see an older Saint who has walked a long time with Jesus and continues to do so with great joy and anticipation.  There have been several of them in my life and I have always deeply valued what they had to share.  Here is another Saints bit of simple wisdom – http://ow.ly/QhgX