Top Ten Things to do While Waiting on the Police to File a Report

10. Brush your teeth. No one wants to talk to you with coffee covering up morning breath.

9. Get the bikes, scooters, skateboard and chewed up pizza box out of the front yard. Good grief man, you look like a redneck.

8. Wipe up breakfast. Chocolate donuts were a great idea, but now they are smeared all down the hall.

7. Put the dog up. You know he is a puppy, but do you really want to start the conversation off with pepper spray?

6. Change your shirt. I’m sure that sweatshirt is comfy, but the old paint, coffee stains and freshly added donut smears does not help improve your image.

5. Remember all the birthdays. I know you have a lot of kids and all, but you really should be able to remember birthdates for the report…just sayin.

4. Inform your 4 year old that a Police Officer is coming over. That way she doesn’t go running through the house exclaiming that there is a police car in our driveway…during the middle of our interview.

3. Make sure said 4 year old is dressed – a top and bottom preferably.

2. Research boys homes later. Don’t start the conversation off with, “Do you know of a good boy’s home to send him to?”

1. When you tell the officer that your son is from Ethiopia, don’t say something smart when he asks the follow up question, “Soooo, is he black…or…”

Share and Enjoy:

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009 at 9:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.